A letter to our Abuela: Because You are Our Queen

A letter to our Abuela… Because You are Our Queen…

September 12, 2012 at 1:32am

fam·i·ly

On September 8, 2012 our family was struck with heart ache and grief. The Matriarch, the Queen, the Core of our family left us to be with those that have moved on to life’s next journey. And I am saddened to say, there is never enough time. You could have lived to be 120 years old, and we still wouldn’t have been ready…

At 32 years old, I am still growing and learning and finding my place in this world… But no matter where I am, I always know I have this enormous family behind me. Other people whose blood runs thorough my veins. And I have a comfort in knowing that as scary and big and raw this world may be, there is always someone out there with me. It’s all because of You that I have this. This bloodline we share is guided by the love, and patience, and sincerity that You showed us, Abuela. You are the center of it all. You are the reason that no matter how much time has passed in between reunions and visits, when I see family at a random gathering I feel as if we were just with each other the night before enjoying laughs and creating memories, sharing a bond that is as thick as it’s core.  Why is that possible? Because that is how You made us feel. You showed us just as much love as the last time we saw you, if not more, no matter the distance of time. It’s because of You that I know I can be strong, because I hear the stories of your struggles and I know if you could do it, then I have that strength too. It’s because of You that I know I can be creative, because we all saw you take your hobby and create something to be admired. It’s because of You that I know that my father will always have my back… as my cousins’ parents will always have theirs, because you created them that way. It’s because of You that I know that we are a beautiful family.

I wish I knew You as well as my parents did. I wish I could remember more childhood memories. I wish I had more time to make them. I wish I was in more of them… Always… But as clear as day, I can still hear Your warm and heartfelt greeting every time You saw my face “Chassy! Y Pauline? Como estas los ninos? Y tu mama?” Always. You were always asking about our well being. You always cared to know. And You remembered. You are thoughtful… My Abuela, for as long as I can remember, You sent Christmas gifts and cards… every year! When we had kids You included their fathers’ name and the kids’ names on the cards. It didn’t matter if I saw You that year or not. It didn’t matter if I missed Your birthday. It didn’t matter if I was selfish, and that my life was more important than the worlds’.

YOU PROVED A Grandmother’s love has no judgements, has no limits and has no reservations. A Grandmother’s love has no boundaries. You loved us – me and my 53+ cousins – simply because we were Yours.  And that is all that mattered to You.

Abuela, You created a family larger than I could ever dream of, because You created a LOVE larger than I could ever contain. You are the epitome of strength. You suffered trials and tribulations we would never understand. You lost the love of your life, and grieved for him every day. But You always showed me that a heart is as big as you can allow it to be. And there are always ways to beat the odds.  If I could go through half the struggles you went through, and be half the woman you are, I would be so lucky.

Abuela, Thank You for giving me the family I have now, for giving me my Dad, my aunts and uncles, my cousins… for giving me a reason to believe that Life is Full of Amazing Things.

You are our Queen, Abuela. You will always be alive in the light of our hearts forever.  And you will be terribly missed by us all.

Cousins, let’s stand together, hand in hand and show our Abuela, the amazing beauty of a family that she created. Let the moments we share together be as meaningful and heartfelt as life itself. Let her love, her generosity, her kindness,  and her strength shine through in everything that we do. And Let us live her legacy and be the generation of strength and love she intended us to be.

As our Abuela travels to the heavens above and as She embraces the love of Her life, let’s always remember that  she helped to teach us… “Life is full of amazing things. Always take a minute to smell the flowers by your feet. Feel the Sun on your face. Let the Rain cleanse your soul. Love with all that you have. Laugh with every breath. Live with purpose. Fight for your dreams. Reach for the Stars, Moon and Sun… Believe in you… cause Abuela does. And remember, that She will always be here… right by our side… cheering us on.”

Love always & forever…..

Chastity Cortijo

Mrs. Maria Eduvigis Cortijo October 17, 1927 – September 8, 2012