how a mere fender bender rocked my heart…

World….Please listen.. I implore you….

January 26th, 2012. It was a typical Thursday night. Kids ate dinner, showered and were dressed in pajamas. I’m waking up from a 20 min power nap and geared up in my saber skin ready to roll around. 

We’re in the car heading down the usual route when I catch myself yelling at my 5 year old for an unbuckled seat belt. I slow to a stop, check that she is completely fastened in, yell some more about the possible dangers, and we keep it moving…. 

We turn the corner and pull up to a red light. The headlights from the car behind me seem brighter than usual and as I look up, something doesn’t feel right and I realize the car isn’t slowing down. It’s still a red light. What is he doing? I inch up a bit and give him space to stop short…3 seconds later a loud BOOM, the kids scream, I jump and I realize we just got hit. I take a deep breath. I check my surroundings. I check myself. I check the kids. We are all OKAY. The light is green. There are cars behind us. And I shift to park. 

BREATHE CHASTITY. JUST BREATHE!!!

It’s dark. It’s raining. The car that hit us is BIG! I don’t know what to expect. I am alone with the kids. But I have to deal with this situation.

I get out of my car. The man is already walking towards me apologizing profusely. I check both of our cars. Not a scratch…. 

But let me give you some dimension….

I drive THIS 

and he drives THIS….

By the time my voice comes to, it’s f-bombs EVERY OTHER WORD. 

WTF! What were you doing? WTF?  I HAVE KIDS IN THE CAR!!! WTF? Are you okay? Yup, I asked this jerk if HE was okay…. 

Neither car was damaged. We were just shaken up. He was still apologizing over my colorful words. He gave me his licensee, registration, insurance card. I took pictures of it all. Then I gave it back to him… 

I look the man in the eye and I asked – What happened?

“I’m sorry… I was…….. >he put his head down< I was ON THE STUPID PHONE…."

His name is Peter. He’s 51 years old. And He put his head down in shame… 

And my heart sank..Not for him. For me…. 

“I have a little boy and a little girl sir. She’s 5. If there were oncoming cars on the other side, we could have been hit pretty badly. You put us all in very serious danger. Please. Put the f-bomb phone down.. and go to where ever you were heading to. Please… BE SAFE….PLEASE…

I got back in my car. Angry as hell. And I head to training..

And I cried. I cried LOUD and HARD and I screamed. All while sitting in the parking lot. I wasn’t hurt. The kids were already fine and laughing…But I cried louder and harder…

Why???? You see, My little girl…She’s 5. She’s beautiful.  She sings Happy Birthday almost daily. She adds who ever’s name she feels like adding for that day. When I asked her why she sings happy birthday so much, she replied simply, “because everyone has a birthday and that song always makes people smile no matter what”. My little boy. He’s 8. His mentors call him flying ninja. He hates homework. He loves his watching movies and crawling into my bed at night. His smile is contagious. He just got glasses and looks adorably handsome. And his humor always makes me giggle.

My heart sank because for a split moment, I could have lost the privilege of hearing ‘Happy Birthday’ sang to me on a daily basis. I could have lost the privilege of feeling the creeping of a warm child crawling into my bed for comfort and safety. For a minute, I could have lost the privilege to yell at my kids about being safe… For a minute… I could have LOST. Period…

This was a mere fender bender. Shaken up we were yes. Something to mull over, not at all. Everyone was unscathed. It was an unnecessary accident. But things could always be worse. I thank goodness, it was the better of the two in this case.

WORLD – I am a real person. I am a struggling mom of two amazing kids. I work hard at keeping it all together. And i just want what everyone else wants, to live.

This man could have destroyed that… all because he was on his stupid phone…

So world… please.. next time you reach down to pick up that call, or decide to text while your car is moving… Remember my fender bender. Imagine how silent the world would be without EV singing Happy Birthday every day. Imagine how cold the nights would be without my 8 year old sneaking into bed.

Just imagine if things were worse for us… Because everyday, for someone else – it is.

1. Distracted Driving

The number one cause of car accidents is not a criminal that drove drunk, sped or ran a red light. Distracted drivers are the top cause of car accidents in the U.S. today. A distracted driver is a motorist that diverts his or her attention from the road, usually to talk on a cell phone, send a text message or eat food.